Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

Sometimes, the ways I dealt with things in the past were not the healthiest.

Today, I am grateful for those experiences because now, as a mother, I have the responsibility (and hope) to be my children's greatest teacher. 

Jess Constable created and published the very first "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You" list on March 29, 2012. 

It's since created a movement around the blogosphere in an effort to remind readers that blogs, are written by real people. 

Real emotions drive those real people to write and guess what? They have fears too. 

Most importantly, as Jess writes herself, "I just want to see what it feels like to really push past my own self-imposed boundaries and share my thoughts that don’t often grace MML."

After spending a day with some amazing women from the Ozanam Shelter, who were attending Enchanted Makeover's "She is Me" event this Summer, I felt even more compelled to share my list. 

After dinner, we were encouraged to take the "I am not ______" challenge. After we filled in the blank,  we took a picture holding up this card, in essence exposing a self-limiting belief. I wrote I am not scared.

Today, making peace with myself once more, honoring my statement by throwing stones at my self designed/built glass ceiling... here I go:

1) I miss my father desperately, fiercely, everyday.

2) I don't know how to take a compliment.

3) I don't forget faces, but I forget people's names way too often.

4) Some mornings, I have to REALLY push myself to get out of bed.

5) Traumatized by watching "Candyman" at a much too early age, I am terrified of looking at mirrors in the dark.

6) While I've made peace with body, my battle with food is still not over.

7) I sometimes envy working moms.

8) That because my life changed in an instant in my 20's, I'm in my 30's and fear planning for the future.

9) I freak out when tough decisions have to be made.

10) I am tired of being scared.

11) I am very homesick.

After my interview for GMA a months weeks ago chatting on FB with Terry Grahl, the founder of Enchanted Makeovers about how vulnerable I felt for 'spilling my guts on national TV,' she wrote back to me saying, "It's all good Vanessa! Shine your light, to set others free." 

I hope that I've done that for someone today as I move forward honoring my authentic self.